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Now that Lokis gone, my other deities feel much more present. Hekate has talked to me about the fallout with my friends. I've forgotten how blunt and honest she can be, but I am thankful for that. Shes holding me accountable for my faults and helping me to see the other side. But it's like Lucifer said, those friends were toxic and it was time to let them go.

Aphrodite is also much more present. I'm kinda glad I didn't become devoted to Loki because I dont think I would be able to handle all that chaos he'd bring into my life. I miss how nice Aphrodite's presence feels, how nice her voice and especially her laugh is.
I'm considering working with Asmodeus and Ares. They scare me a bit, but so did deity work yet here I am. I felt Ares' presence and it wasnt so bad, it was actually kinda comforting. I think I'm going to work with Lucifer a little more before Asmodeus. (If you have any advice or experiences working with Asmodeus or Lucifer, please do tell!)
So far, I've been working with the Roman-Deity-Epithet of Lucifer. Hes a bit aloof, but so was Aphrodite when I first reached out. Though the things he's been illuminating have been hard to work through, I'm excited to work with him in the future. He really likes the song Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) by Train.

I took a bubble bath for Aphrodite and Lucifer for Valentines day. Lady Freyja (once again) contacted me. The first time, she appeared in my dream as a snow queen, but all of the symbols she was associated with in my dream weren't ones she uses, so I disregarded it. But on Valentines, her energy was very heavy.

On that same day, I did a past life meditation out of curiosity. I didn't get a lot of information, except that I really liked plants/flowers, especially coneflowers. They were the first plant that came to my mind. Some people in the comments said they fell asleep listening to the meditation and had a dream related to their past life. I had a dream my mom got me a box of a bunch of different teas 😭

I know not many people read this, but I've been really looking forward to writing these little blogs. It's been helping me get me back on my feet after loosing my friends. Grateful for you guys, thank you 🙏

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Dsco by Sweet Trip

I started working with Lord Lucifer recently. Loki (and eventually Lucifer) showed me how toxic some friends were, and helped me to confront them and break them off. It was really, really hard, but I'm glad it's done. Lord Loki left me and passed me off to Lucifer.

Lucifer is kinda stern but sweet. His vibe to me is a little different than others have described. Intense, but a literal "light-bringer". Like son-of-Aurora Lucifer.

Cutting off those friends was really hard for me. Coping with their absence is just as hard, but I'm glad they're no longer in my life. I felt like I could tell anything to them. I miss talking to them all the time, but I'm also sickened by how much time I've wasted talking to them now I see what they're truly like. I have friends but only one of them is close to me and I don't want to get clingy. I'm going to try to keep busy somehow but theres not a lot of oppurtunities around me. Hopefully I can get a job.

In the days after I cut them out, Lucifer's helped me get back onto my feet with self-care (avoiding ruminating/worrying by watching TV, eating healthy, cleaning the house, etc). I lit a candle and took a bubble bath, and the way the candle reflected in the water + bubbles felt like his energy. 🥰 I like looking around and feeling Lucifers energy, like the evening sun streaming through the window. Hekate, Loki, and Aphrodite are very happy I'm working with him.

Energetically, it feels like summer. I'm not a big fan of the summer but I'm certainly looking foreward to it for some reason. I blame the weird Adult Swim shows I've been getting into. I'm talking like the old serial stuff like 12 oz Mouse, Perfect Hair Forever, Gemusetto Machu Picchu, etc. The first two episodes of PHF was good- nothing excellent, but still good- and I was kinda excited to see how the rest of the series would progress but it was kinda disappointing :(. Like the writers just gave up on the show. I had trouble sitting through Gemusetto so I had to watch a bit of s2 to get through s1. I like it, definetly one of the weirdest shows I've ever seen. I like it. 12 oz Mouse is honestly a comfort show, even though I don't understand it. The Eye is my favorite. I need to write or read some fanfiction of the show. I need a rewritten fanfic of Perfect Hair Forever as well. May the summer-time-vibe is because I watched Tim and Eric + Home Movies last year in the summer time.

I like 12 oz Mouse's intro, I wish the music was on spotify. The alternate is kinda funny cause I wasn't expecting the jazz singer to curse. Its trippy hearing him say "I got a car full of bitches and brand new bong".

Went on a walk today with Lord Lucifer and saw a snake (it wasnt harmful, thankfully). I've tried working with Aurora but I dont think she wants to work with me. I havent gotten a sign from her yet. But I felt Lucifers presence in my dream last night. I was lighting a glittery purple candle. I pulled some birthday candles out of the trash to save for him, he didnt like that very much

Current Mood: nostalgic

Ughghghghgh

This is not easy. I'm trying to stay busy and avoid doomscrolling but its SO HARD. Trying to work on fanfiction but its SO HARD WHEN ALL YMY IDEAS ARE DRY. I should probably EAT LUNCH but I'm NOT IN THE MOOD. This suck ASS. Can't use tumblr or youtube.

Need... stimulation... ugggggggghhhhhhhh

I'm trying to write this to take my mind off of it.I haven't used youtube in the past few days and have been meditating instead and it's been nice. I meditated this morning and it was nice. Saw a hawk outside, I think it was Apollo or Hekate giving me a sign. I felt it looking through me, almost like it's watching over me? I know Apollo is associated with hawks and Hekate isn't, but it felt like Hekate giving me a sign that's she's watching over me. If not, then Apollo telling me he liked my music offering :)

Ugh. The only thing I can do right now to keep me busy is clean. Yeah. No...

Current Mood: Antsy

Hey, so I recently discovered I’m fictionflicker but I don’t see a lot of posts of people talking about it. Like a niche fanfiction writer, I’m going to create what I wish I had.

I think the first time was after playing a Papa Louie game for a few hours. My body looked and felt different in my mind's eye, especially in the legs for some reason. This feeling lasted for a while (like hours, until I went to bed).

The next time was the strongest one. I binge-watched Kakegurui for a few hours and kinshifted to Runa (fucking) Yomozuki. As much as I hated her, this was my strongest experience. I remember I looked like her in my mind's eye, I felt a phantom limb of her rabbit coat/hat, I sounded like her in my mind, I was trying not to act like her, etc. This lasted for an hours or so.

As annoying as the experience was, it was also kinda fun. Idk, for some reason I miss it. But I’ve never been able to have an experience as that intense since (that was a few years ago). But I’ve kinshifted since then, it just doesn’t last nearly as long or is as intense. I rewatched a clip of Stocking Anarchy, kinshifted her, but it only lasted a few minutes. Kinshifted to Sarah Heathcliff but it lasted not even a minute long. Idk, I feel like I’m not a true alterhuman. I kinda want the experience like Runa to happen again, even if it was really uncomfortable.

Fellow fictionflickers, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences with fictionflicking. Your first time, favorite time, whatever you choose. There’s a heavy lack in these experiences and I want to fix it💥

Current Mood: okay

Hey all!

This is my first journal post. It feels a little weird cause I'm just sharing information about myself ig. I was inspired by someone's "author notes" in her fic to start blogging. I guess some people have a natural talent for blogging and others don't.

Anything interesting today- I'm working on cutting back on social media (youtube and tumblr) and it's been great! Exclusively beneficial. I have so so so much more free time. The day feels longer. The day has that childhood wonder like it used to have- yknow when you were a kid and you woke up in the morning and just so excited for the day and the adventures to come. Hopefully I don't end up chromically online like the previous sites.

I honestly don't know whos going to read this and why. I'm very new to this site and someone's probably going to wind up here from clicking "take me to a random page". The author of the fanfiction that caused me to start blogging often shared random experiences of her life, like how hard college aplications are, the super bowl, the snowfall in her state, the fact she'll be on a field trip soon, etc. Silly events like that that for some reason you want to read them. Maybe its cause how it makes you feel- like reading about someone feeling good will make you feel good in return.

Maybe it can be exclusively beneficial for me if I just wrote in spanish. idkw but i suddenly feel kinda groggy. i didn't doomscroll at all. maybe its the site, idk.

really hope I won't start doomscrolling here. I think for now, I'll keep my blog about getting off of youtube and any fandom ramblings. Keep my life interesting! All that jazz𝄞

i really like the old internet of this. and who knows! maybe someone will stumble across this in 12 years.

I sure hope so ☆

Current Mood: thoughtful

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Deity work, Valentines, and Past Life

Shitty Friends, Lucifer, and Adult Swim

No Doomscrolling 1

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February 2025

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